I have not slept but little for several nights and here while Lash remains unwell, there will be no rest. I was much surprised this morning to be solicited by the friends, I mean connections, to stay at home and attend to Billy and let others wait, whom I had engaged to see today, when in fact many of them were much more dangerous than he was. I told them I must go and attend to those I had promised. No, I think as much of one sick individual as another and shall neglect none on his account. He shall receive his equal portion of my attnetion and no more. I had just as lief he would die as any other respectable man. He is no better than other people and has no more claims on me, nor do I owe him any favors.
I had a few moments conversation with H. this evening and found the moments passed swiftly, and now have no doubt of a strong attachment.