Journal of Dr GFW
Sunday, 6 September, 1830
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I have a great many miles to ride today and should have performed the task with pleasure had things at home not assumed so unpleasant an aspect. We have a few miles from this place, Campmeeting. Always a cource of much trouble to me and instead of producing good pecuniary or religious effect, has quite the contrary effect.
Nothing can be more unpleasant in the domestic occurrences than discontent and dissatisfacction. Now I find it quite impossible for me to attend this meeting consistent with engagements before made. My companion, on the contrary, cannot and will not be satisfied unless she is there. And not from any good she expected to derive, but from mere curiosity, to see and be seen and that love of excitement so much admired by too many. I have, however, made it a rule to go when and where duty called; consequently, did not attend the meeting. Now because I did not and would not go, she has created all the unpleasant sensations that must fill the mind for hours, day and night, probably for months. She declared she would go, and indulged in bitter reflections, regardless of every feeling of respect or duty. Such scenes are calculated to weaken, if not destroy, all confidence or respect and should never be indulged in by any, much less in the domestic circle. Feeling disgusted and much injured, I left my house to discharge my duty to those who had confided in me. I came home and all was silent and abandoned. I entered my abode and gave up to my reflections, and said in soliloquy, Such a course cannot be justified. It is erroneous in every way it may be viewed. It most assuredly was her duty to have willingly yielded when circumstances and incumbent obligations joined in forbidding me to go. Secondly, our situation as poor people just commenced in life, did not enable us to go even if there were no more weighty inducements to have stayed at home. Thirdly, there was no laudable object in going, as no good was expected to be received, but all was for show and unreal pleasure, ending in pain. Such occurrences will sap the foundation of all esteem or regard, and in a few short years complete alienation will succeed and usurp the place of peace, and all the evils of such an occurrence will be seen when it is too late for retracing our steps back from whence we started.