Monday, 10 November, 1828

Mind in a whirlpool of unsettled notions half determined to do and not to do. Sad state for contentment. Returned home just at dark and once more spent a pleasant, agreeable evening with H. All preceding difficulties gave way and were overpowered by the transcendent superiority of an immediate presence of - ... Long may the moment remain fresh in the mind, to drive gloomy despondency away when brooding in silent despair over absent friends and with charms enliven the future scenes and awaken a more cheerful smile on a countenance so long clouded with discontent. Many disagreeable thoughts during the day raised a noisy contention around the mind. I saw in fancy's wide domain, nothing calculated to produce a hope of better times or change the present reflections, but the shades of evening gave at once the pleasure of being happily disappointed. The mild and constant endeavor of my esteemed friend to make me happy had the desired effect and H. was very agreeable to me, to endeavor to return the same compliment. How long will this endure? Would it be thus continued as long as life, if it had the opportunity, or would it fade in an hour? This time alone could decide.