Friday, 5 December, 1828
The day has been agreeable in point of temperature and as I have been called to attend on Mrs. Conrad, I had an opportunity of a little conversation with H. and now imagine the decisive word will ere long be pronounced which may, ah! will decide my fate forever. Indeed, I ought to say to myself once more, pause and again reflect. See where you stand and on what foundation are attempting to rear such a superstructure which death alone can demolish. Are your means competent? Are your resources numerous and permanent? Have you prepared for the completion of your design? Have you weighted well the consequences that may result and made preparation so that if misfortune assail you, you still can live comfortable? I must here acknowledge that I am deficient and much is left unsatisfactory.