Friday, 20 February, 1829
The day is not agreeable. I have, however, a small satisfaction added to my mind from the occurrence of yesterday. But this is not as free from alloy as I could have wished. Yet there are several considerations that much have operated on Mrs. Conrad's mind to influence a reluctant consent. In the first place, I was very poor and her daughter was in the same situation. I admit this to be a very good and valid ovjection and it is an objection which I have of myself. Secondly, I have been in this country but a few months and was a perfect stranger, known to none. Here was a very material consideration in opposition to my wishes and one that would have justified a refusal. And the third was the youth of her daughter, putting all these together must create a formidable barrier to surmount. Had H.'s father been alive, I should not have proposed so soon, but living with a wealthy stepfather, and difficulties sometimes arising seemed to sanction such a step more than if different circumstances had been present.