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Monday, 9 June, 1828

Again roused from lethargic forgetfulness to real and active life. The morning resounds with sweet melody of the feathered tribe, chanting hymns of natural praise to the great Author of their existence. Pleasant indeed are the notes of innocence to the pensive and lonely mind. The more I contemplate on works of Nature, the more I find to instruct and admire and the more to astonish. How magnificently grand are all Thy works, the most minute in point of magnitude, of all thy productions, far exceed the boasted art and refinement of feeble man. Even the little buzzing fly, so repugnant to the ease of the unoccupied and really lazy, furnishes to me evidence of the greatness of that wisdom which directs the planets in their courses and causes the agreeable variety of seasons we enjoy. That individual who can calmly contemplate the immense extent, magnitude and variety of God's works and not admire the goodness, beneficence, and omnipotent wisdom of the Creator must be insensivle to every feeling of benevolence. And he who wantonly gives pain to a living creature is not well taught in the school of humanity. Even the most minute insect is not insensible to pain, and can humanity inflict a wound when necessity does not demand it?

Strength is the principle on which the unkindness of man is predicated and not justice and humanity. It is power alone that gives the boasted prerogative. Think for a moment and reflect with candor on the reason why you inflict uncalled for suffering on a living creature. Were you to meet, unprepared, the wild and coracious Lion or Tiger in the midst of the forest, and deprived of every means of defense the ingenuity of man have inverted, what would be your sensation? Would you fearlessly attempt to disturb his quietness or drive him, as you do the timid deer? No, Sir. You would cower and endeavor to sek your safety as the most weak animals do from you. Yet, in the death of them you take delight and their agony gives you pleasure. Boasted Lord of Creation, you are a man animal in all your actions. When superior, stand. When inferior, flee.

A feeble state of body accompanied with real circumstances of disquietude of mind is the most unenviable situation. No tranquility of mind can be enjoyed by such individuals. I seel my health far from being restored. Yet it may have some beneficial effect, by keeping the mind from being too much elated. If we were always to enjoy uninterrupted health, our sympathy for the less fortunate invalid woulld be destroyed and we should neglect an important duty to our fellow sufferers, a disregard to the calls of pain and misery, and destroy, as far as example extends, the great principle of humanity which under all our suffering is quite too much neglected. So, it is probable that afflictions, when properly viewed in their result, are beneficial.

Glorious Sun, you are now descending from view and soon your intercepted light will cease for a short itme to cheer the multitude. But your absence is delightful and equally beneficial. It prepares man to hail your return with renewed vigor. Now the shades of evening appear. Rove, imagination, to the tranquil shades where once I reveled in all the gay joys of childhood and the dawn of youth. Oh! could I invoke the shades of departed pleasure now to revisit this more mature mind. How eager would they be grasped, if only for a moment. Scenes of rural pleasure amid the decorated fields of Spring. How gay. How cheerful. How animating even the reflection. Must it be that more intellectual, consequently more real enjoyment does not yet await me? I must have time to decide this important question. If smiling hope did not cheer me in theses reflections my present situation would be quite insupportable.

Darkness now covers all from sight and man retires to the downy pillow of repose. But intense anxiety of the future, not in worlds unseen but here, now, every moment arriving, deprives me of this satisfaction. Most certainly my mind must be too sensitive on this point. A more morbid and inactive state would be attended with less complaining and murmuring. I ought not thus to spend my time.