Wednesday, 1 April, 1829
It sometimes appears that I was born for the express to be the sport of misfortune during the period of my existence and why it is so, I leave to those who have more knowledge on the subject. How soon may we experience a reverse of fortune, a reverse of feeling, a revers of expectation, a revers anticipation, a revers of hope, and a sad reverse of every pleasant prospect. How quick may a clear sky be overcast with stormy clouds and the atmosphere be wrought into wild and furious commotion, devastating all before it. Such has been my misfortune to experience today. I had been riding considerable distance, fondly reflecting on y intended change of life and the necessary arrangements to be made prior to that period - which time had not been determined. I at last at about ten or eleven o'clock retired to bed, not having one disagreeable idea to molest my thoughts. But this pleasant state of repose, a situation uncommon for me, was not suffered to exist but a few moments. Before I had time to close my eyes, I was summoned by a slave to Mrs. Conrad. I immediately inquired if she was sick. The slave replied in the negative. To me it seemed a singular call at this time of night and none sick. Yet I had no apprehension of any reverse sentiment; however, as soon however as I had adjusted my clothes, I obeyed the summons, When entered the apartment, none was up but Mrs. Conrad. I seated myself in order to be informed of the cause of my being sent for. When she began in an earnest manner, Doctor, I never thought it of you. I did not think you would use me so or that you thought so much more of others than of me. Why did you not tell me. I blame Henrietta more than you because she was my child. What have I done that I must be used so? There is nothing in this world but trouble for me. Am I so much of a tattler that I cannot be trusted? Doctor, I have always used you well and trusted the best I could. You have always been welcome hereand I think you should have considerd me as a mother and not used me worse than you do strangers. It almost kills me to think I am so little thought of. I have heard uch about your coming here but I believe you meant nothing but good, and I thought much of you. So I did not care. But now to be told by others that you and Henrietta are going to be married soon in a few days and that neither of you have said a word to me about it is shocking. Why did you not tell me? Then a long pause ensued and remained in perfect silence to hear the end of all she had to say. Why, she again commenced with, I am willing you should have Henrietta, but not now. I want she should be fifteen years old first and there are many things I want yet to learn her about housekeeping. She is very young yet, and you can have all that you want done fixed here. Come, Doctor, now tell me is it so? I answered no! It was all false and without the slightest foundation. There had never been any time set or fixed on by us and whoever has told you so has uttered a flasehood and fabricated by themselves. I have never said one word to a living being except Henrietta about marriage.