Tuesday, 28 July, 1829

It has been my opinion for some years that the mind was never to be at rest. As fast as one obect is obtained or one void is filled, another of equal or of more importance seems to open and demand attention, and not unfrequently more difficult or more disagreeable to fill. Every day convinces me more and more that such is the fact. I have had many wishesand many objects to obtain and have succeeded in gaining many of them, which before they were achieved appeared to my view the very points on which my happiness depended; but, alas, for the shortsightedness of man. I have been as often disappointed. And in every case I have as I thought maturely, considered and reflected on the most laudable and vest way of obtaining my ends, and notwithstanding all the sagacity I have endeavored to use it, it appears I am not likely to succeed in gaining the object of all my endeavors, peace of mind. Now if my wife be dissatisfied, it productes a corresponding effect on me. This uneasiness in her mind now arises from the imagination of many superstitious and timid old women who have lamented to her that I had purchased THAT HOUSE, telling many tales of shosts, spirits, hobgoblins, apparitions, sights, and wondders, and sanctioning all in order to produce conviction with, "I would not live there for the world." All people wish others to be more or less as they are, and if that situation be unpleasant and they can without expense make others so, they are ready and willing to do it. My companion will not say she does not wish to live there, but I can discover a fear, a dread of all these false and base representations. This has produced on my mind an upleasant sensation. I do not like the idea of taking her where every breath must be breathed in fear. But it is too late now and I must console myself that a few months experience will teach the falsity of these stories.