Sunday and Monday, 18 and 19 October, 1829

For some time our dwelling has been illuminated by a pleasant serenity that would have reconciled any individual. Love, the only true cement of connubial bliss, I had hoped had returned to cheer our remaining days but, alas, today seems to indicate the reverse and all has vanished. I know not where or for why my companion saw proper to leave home in no pleasant feeling, without giving any cause and returned at night with the same appearance, not only regardless of all just propriety, but perfectly indifferent to her own health. Here you will observe that persons who are determined to cause trouble and perplexity will even inflict punishment on themselves and it does seem to me they would, in order to carry their point, subject themselves to irreparable ill health. It has been my constant endeavor to keep as near one point as possible, that my example should have a good effect in keeping that harmony which ought to exist. I have observed and reflected much, and cannot ever consent to abandon an upright and just principle, to uphold and protect an unjust, or consent to become a vindicator of gossiping because it ought to be discountenanceed by all. We owe it, as a duty to society, to eradicate all such common vices, and all that we cannot accomplish by precept we should endeavor to gain by example. It is this I wished to accomplish, that it should become the delight of those who are near and dear to me, whom I rejoice to see happy in doing good and really desirous of extending these blessings to those who may live now and also those that may succeed us. I now look forward with much anxiety to a period when will devolve on me a responsiility of great importance and to be prepared, properly, for that moment is one of my great desires. But I now see it is much more difficult than could have been expected to change those notions, erroneous as can be, inculcated during the early part of life. In fact, it seems impossible to overcome them; experience and reason are unavailable. It has been imagined by many that all the female portion of the human family require no education. Fatal mistake.