Journal of Dr GFW
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I have contrary to my wish stayed at home during the day and the only reason is I have had no place to visit. The evening shade has arrived and all is hushed in sleep. My mind fully employed amid the stillness that surrounds me, in comparing my present and past situation in life. I find I have committed errors in several particulars, but will endeavor to avoid them in the future. I find that our connubial confidence is apparently as strong as ever and willingness to bear and forbear seems to have gained for some time past; yet when difficulties occur, old occurrences are very apt to rise fresh in the recollection and this may be adduced as one particular reason why a domestic, disquietude weakens that confidence so important in the married life. It should be the aim of both to avoid contention and before resorting to any such measure to suffer much in order to preserve a good understanding. There is no situation so pleasant now that can afford such real happiness, none so replete with enjoyment, wants and wishes free from fear or anxiety as that of an agreeable married state, where both desire the welfare and respectability of the other; and no situation more deplorable than that where enmity has destroyed all confidence. My short experience has made such impressions on my mind and if all should continue as it is they are now, I could defy the hand of time to make any inroad on my happiness in relation to my companion. No. Nothing would disturb our harmony and all our troubles would arise from inability to procure a competence and other misfortunes entirely beyond her control. How these things may terminate, time will decide and I shall endeavor to relate for I wish you should know and avoid all if possible of those difficulties.
I have been the victim of disappointment and its consequences for some time past. I had engaged all the necessary materials for a building four months ago and all of these were to be delivered here on the first of October and are not yet arrived. People in many instances do not regard their word and it seems to me they often promise when they do not perform intentionally. When you once find out such men the only is to put a severe penalty on them in case of failure and this you must have in writing with a good reliable witness. If you do not do this, you will suffer loss by disappointment and when you depend on a man's work to furnish you with anything you want, engage that these things shall be ready long before you expect to use them so that you may have time to make other arrangements in case of disappointment.